Rebounding after a breakup is a common occurrence, and it’s not unusual for people to jump into a new relationship to help ease the pain of their recent breakup. But, when it comes to narcissists, their rebound relationships are always particularly intense and short-lived.
Narcissists have a tendency to quickly move on from their previous relationships and seek out new partners to fill the void left by their ex. They use these new relationships as a way to boost their ego and maintain their sense of superiority. But how long will a narcissist rebound relationship last?
In this blog post, we’ll take a closer look at narcissistic rebound relationships and explore their typical duration. We’ll also discuss the warning signs to watch out for and provide advice on how to avoid falling into a rebound relationship with a narcissist. If you’ve ever found yourself in a relationship with a narcissist or are currently navigating a breakup with one, this post is for you.
Who is a narcissist?
A narcissist is someone who’s really, really into themselves. They think they’re the most important person in the room, and they need everyone else to think so too. They’ll go to great lengths to get attention and admiration from others, even if it means stepping on other people’s toes or outright lying.
They’re also really bad at empathizing with others. They might seem charming and charismatic at first, but over time you’ll notice that they just don’t seem to care about other people’s feelings. They’re more concerned with their own needs and desires, and they’ll use others to get what they want without a second thought.
In a relationship, a narcissist can be really tricky to deal with. They might seem really loving and attentive at first, but over time you’ll realize that they’re really just interested in what you can do for them. They might put you down or belittle you to make themselves feel superior, or they might try to control you by making you feel guilty or ashamed.
How long will a narcissist rebound relationship last
When it comes to rebound relationships, research has shown that they tend to be short-lived. In fact, a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that the average duration of a rebound relationship is only about four to five months. This is because rebound relationships often stem from a desire to quickly move on from a previous relationship and avoid the pain of a breakup, rather than a genuine desire to build a lasting and healthy relationship.
However, when it comes to narcissistic rebound relationships, the duration can be even shorter. Narcissists are more likely to rush into new relationships as a way to boost their ego and maintain their sense of superiority. They may seem incredibly charming and attentive at first, but over time their true nature will reveal itself, and the relationship will likely fall apart.
Studies have shown that narcissistic rebound relationships tend to last only a few weeks to a few months (4-6 months). This is because narcissists are often more interested in the attention and admiration they receive from their new partner than in building a genuine and lasting relationship. They use the new relationship as a way to quickly fill the void left by their previous partner and to maintain their inflated sense of self-worth.
Although, the duration of a narcissistic rebound relationship can also be influenced by other factors. For example, if the new partner is able to provide the narcissist with a constant stream of admiration and attention, the relationship may last longer than usual. This is because narcissists thrive on praise and validation, and will do whatever it takes to keep that validation coming.
On the other hand, if the new partner sees through the narcissist’s facade and doesn’t provide the validation they crave, the relationship may end more quickly. Narcissists are often unable to handle criticism or rejection, and may lash out or become abusive when they feel their sense of self-worth is threatened.
The duration of a narcissistic rebound relationship isn’t a reflection of your worth or value as a person. Narcissists are often highly skilled at manipulating and controlling their partners, and it can be difficult to see through their facade at first. So, if you ever find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s important to recognize the warning signs and get out as soon as possible.
Why narcissist relationships don’t last
1. Narcissists are often drawn to rebound relationships because they offer a quick fix to their wounded ego. They may feel abandoned or rejected by their previous partner, and a new relationship provides an opportunity to regain their sense of power and control. This rush to find a new partner often leads to a lack of emotional depth and intimacy in the relationship.
2. The foundation of a narcissistic rebound relationship is often built on manipulation and deceit. The narcissist may use flattery and charm to win over their new partner, but this is often a tactic to control and manipulate them. This kind of behavior can quickly become exhausting and frustrating for the partner, leading to an emotional breakdown in the relationship.
3. Narcissists are often unable to accept responsibility for their own actions and behaviors, leading to a lack of accountability in the relationship. When conflicts arise, the narcissist will deflect blame onto their partner or become defensive, making it difficult to resolve issues and move forward. This lack of emotional maturity and accountability eventually leads to the demise of the relationship.
4. Narcissists often struggle with feelings of insecurity and low self-worth, despite their grandiose and self-absorbed behavior. This sometimes leads to a constant need for validation and attention, which can put a lot of pressure on their partner. When their partner is unable to provide the constant admiration and validation they crave, the narcissist may quickly move on to the next relationship in search of a new source of validation.
5. One reason is that narcissists tend to have a very idealized view of their new partner, often seeing them as the solution to all of their problems. However, as time goes on, they begin to see flaws and imperfections in their partner that do not align with their idealized view. This makes them disappointed and frustrated and eventually causes the relationship to break down.
6. Narcissists often struggle with boundaries, both in terms of setting them for themselves and respecting those of their partners. They sometimes become overly possessive or jealous, or they may feel entitled to certain behaviors or privileges in the relationship. This creates a power imbalance that can be difficult to navigate, especially for the non-narcissistic partner.
7. Narcissists are more likely to engage in impulsive or risky behavior, such as cheating or substance abuse. This in most cases leads to a breakdown in trust and further strain the relationship, making it even more likely to end quickly.
Signs you are dating a narcissist
1. You feel like you are moving too fast:
One of the most common signs of a narcissistic rebound relationship is that things are moving too quickly. This can include everything from the intensity of the emotions you are feeling to the speed at which you are physically progressing in the relationship.
If it feels like the relationship is progressing much faster than it should be, this may be a sign that you are in a rebound relationship with a narcissist.
2. You don’t really know the person:
Another red flag is that you don’t really know the person you are in a relationship with. You feel like you are getting to know them, but in reality, they are not sharing much about themselves. Narcissists tend to be very good at presenting a facade to the world, and this can be especially true in the early stages of a relationship.
3. You feel like you are being love-bombed:
Narcissists are often very skilled at making you feel like you are the center of their world. They may shower you with attention, affection, and gifts in order to make you feel special. This feels wonderful at first, but I want you to know this is often a manipulation tactic designed to make you more dependent on them so don’t fall for it.
4. You are being idealized:
In a narcissistic rebound relationship, the narcissist may idealize you and put you on a pedestal. They may tell you that you are perfect, that they have never met anyone like you, and that they can’t imagine their life without you. This to you feels like a dream come true, but don’t fall for it, don’t let yourself be seen as perfect remember that nobody is perfect, and idealizing someone is not a healthy foundation for a relationship.
5. You are being devalued:
Unfortunately, the idealization phase is often followed by a devaluation phase. The narcissist will start to criticize you, put you down, and make you feel like you are not good enough. This is incredibly confusing and hurtful, especially if you are used to their idealizing kind of behavior.
6. You feel like you are walking on eggshells:
Narcissists are incredibly volatile and unpredictable. One minute they may be showering you with love and affection, and the next minute they may be screaming at you or giving you the silent treatment. This can make you feel like you are walking on eggshells and never quite sure what kind of mood they will be in. This is the most tiring thing to experience in a relationship and no one should have to go through that
7. You are being gaslit:
Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic in which the narcissist makes you doubt your own perceptions of reality. They may tell you that you are imagining things, that you are overreacting, or that you are being too sensitive. This can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem and can make you feel like you are going crazy. They always have a way of thwarting the truth and making it look as though you are crazy.
8. You are being isolated:
Narcissists often try to isolate their partners from their friends and family. They may tell you that your loved ones don’t understand you, that they are trying to come between you, or that they are not good for you please don’t believe it. Their constant attempt to isolate you will make you feel like you have nobody to turn to and this can make it much harder to leave the relationship.
9. You are being manipulated:
Narcissists are experts at manipulation. They use guilt, fear, or flattery to get what they want. They may tell you that they need you, that they can’t live without you, or that they will hurt themselves if you leave, don’t believe them. This manipulation tactic is incredibly confusing and can make it much harder to leave the relationship.
10. They talk a lot about their ex:
Narcissists are known for their inability to let go of past relationships. If you find that your partner talks excessively about their ex, compares you to them, or seems fixated on them in any way, this could be a sign that you’re in a rebound relationship with a narcissist. If their ex was that good why are they not in a relationship with them so don’t fall for that . This behavior is often a way for a narcissist to keep their ex-partner in their mind, even as they move on to a new relationship. It’s also a way of controlling you to behave in the way they want you to behave.
11. They don’t seem interested in your feelings:
Narcissists are known for their lack of empathy and their tendency to focus solely on their own needs and desires. In a rebound relationship, you may find that your partner is not very interested in hearing about your feelings or needs. They may dismiss your concerns or minimize your emotions, leaving you feeling unheard and uncared for.
12. They try to control you:
Narcissists are control freaks, they often use manipulation and control as a way of maintaining power in their relationships. If you find that your partner is trying to control your behavior, your thoughts, or your emotions, this could be a sign that you’re in a rebound relationship with a narcissist. This behavior can manifest in a number of ways, from trying to limit your contact with friends and family to insisting on having things their way all the time.
13. They have a history of unstable relationships:
Finally, if your partner has a history of bouncing from one relationship to another or has a history of unstable relationships, this could be a sign that you’re in a narcissistic rebound relationship.
Narcissists often struggle with maintaining long-term relationships, as their behavior tends to drive partners away over time. If your partner has a pattern of short-lived relationships, it’s important to be cautious and consider whether they are capable of sustaining a healthy relationship with you.
Advice on how to avoid falling into a rebound relationship with a narcissist
Firstly, take time for self-reflection and healing before jumping into a new relationship. It’s important to fully process and move on from the previous relationship before seeking out a new one. This will help you avoid being vulnerable and attracting a narcissist who preys on those who are emotionally wounded.
Secondly, be cautious and observant when starting a new relationship. Pay attention to how the person treats you and others around them. Narcissists often have a pattern of idealizing their partners in the beginning and then devaluing them later on. If you notice this pattern or other red flags, you should definitely trust your gut and end the relationship before it goes too far.
Thirdly, set boundaries and have conversations about your needs. Narcissists often try to control and manipulate their partners, so it’s very necessary to establish boundaries early on in the relationship. This can include setting limits on how often you see each other or how much personal information you share.
Fourthly, trust your gut instincts and don’t ignore any red flags. It’s essential to listen to your intuition and take action if something feels off or uncomfortable. You deserve to be with a partner who respects and values you, and it’s important to prioritize your own well-being over a potentially toxic relationship.
Lastly, seek professional help if you’re struggling with the aftermath of a previous relationship or have a pattern of getting involved with narcissists. A therapist can help you understand and break these patterns, and support you in building healthy relationships in the future.
Always remember, avoiding a rebound relationship with a narcissist requires self-awareness, caution, and healthy boundaries. Don’t rush into a new relationship before you’re truly ready, and always trust your instincts if something doesn’t feel right.
Tips for healing after a breakup with a narcissist
Dealing with a breakup with a narcissist can be incredibly difficult. Not only do you have to deal with the emotional pain of the breakup, but you also have to heal from the psychological damage that the relationship may have caused. I want to give you some tips on how to heal after a breakup with a narcissist.
- Allow yourself to grieve: I want you to recognize that the end of any relationship, even one with a narcissist, is a loss. Allow yourself to grieve and feel all the emotions that come with it. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, hurt, and confused. Don’t try to suppress or ignore these emotions, let them come and go.
- Cut off all contact: Once you have decided to end the relationship, it is crucial to cut off all contact with the narcissist. This includes blocking them on social media, deleting their phone number, and avoiding places where you may run into them. This is not a sign of weakness, but rather an act of self-care and protection.
- Seek support: Surround yourself with people who support and love you during this difficult time. Reach out to family and friends who will listen to you without judgment, and seek professional help if needed. Narcissistic abuse can cause trauma, and it’s important to seek help from a qualified therapist who understands the dynamics of the relationship.
- Focus on self-care: After a breakup with a narcissist, you need to focus on your own well-being. Engage in activities that make you happy and bring you joy. Take care of your physical health by exercising, eating well, and getting enough rest. Take time for yourself and do things that make you feel good about yourself.
- Practice self-compassion: It’s common for victims of narcissistic abuse to blame themselves for the relationship’s failure. Remember that you are not responsible for the narcissist’s behavior. Be kind and compassionate to yourself, and remind yourself that you deserve to be loved and respected.
Stages in a narcissist rebound relationship
The idealization stage:
The idealization stage in a narcissistic rebound relationship is characterized by intense affection, attention, and flattery. The narcissist will shower their partner with compliments, gifts, and gestures of love, and will often seem too good to be true. During this stage, the partner may feel like they have found their soulmate, and the relationship may seem perfect.
However, you need to understand that the idealization stage is not genuine love. The narcissist is simply using their partner as a means to fulfill their own needs and desires. They may also be trying to prove to themselves and others that they are capable of being in a healthy, loving relationship.
The partner in the idealization stage may feel like they have finally found the love they have been searching for, but you have to be cautious and not let this intense affection blind you from potential red flags. It is vital for you to recognize that the idealization stage is not sustainable and will eventually come to an end, leading to the next phase of the narcissistic rebound relationship.
The devaluation stage
The second stage in a narcissistic rebound relationship is the devaluation stage. At this point, the narcissist begins to lose interest in their partner and may start to criticize and devalue them. This can take many forms, including belittling, mocking, or even outright insults. The narcissist may also start to withdraw emotionally or physically, becoming distant and unresponsive.
During the devaluation phase, the narcissist may also start to engage in manipulative behaviors such as gaslighting, in which they try to convince their partner that their own perceptions and experiences are wrong. This is always incredibly confusing and disorienting for the partner, as they may begin to doubt their own reality and question whether they are truly being treated poorly.
The devaluation phase can be incredibly painful for the partner, as they may feel like they are constantly walking on eggshells, never knowing when the narcissist will turn on them or lash out in anger. They may try to placate the narcissist, hoping to win back their affection, but find that their efforts are futile.
Despite the pain and confusion of the devaluation phase, you have to recognize what is happening and begin to distance yourself from the narcissist. This may involve seeking support from friends and family, or even reaching out to a therapist or counselor for help. By acknowledging the reality of the situation and taking steps to protect yourself, you can begin to move forward and heal from the relationship
The discard phase
The third and final stage of a narcissistic rebound relationship is the discard phase. This is where the narcissist has lost interest in the relationship and is ready to move on. This phase is always very traumatic for the victim, as they may feel confused and abandoned. The narcissist will often be very cruel during this phase, saying hurtful things and acting in a very cold and distant manner.
The discard phase is not always immediate, and the narcissist may go through periods of idealization and devaluation before finally discarding their partner. So, once the discard phase begins, the narcissist is unlikely to change their mind or try to reconcile.
The victim may feel devastated and heartbroken during this phase, but I want you to know that the narcissist’s behavior is not a reflection of their worth as a person. seek support from loved ones, a therapist, or a support group to help you go through the difficult emotions that arise during this time.
In some cases, the victim often finds themselves trying to win back the narcissist’s affection or begging them to come back. But this is often a wasted effort, as the narcissist has already moved on emotionally and is unlikely to change their mind they are already in a relationship with someone they were grooming while still in a relationship with you. This is why I will advise you to focus on your own healing and move on from the toxic relationship.
In this post, we have explored the topic of narcissistic rebound relationships, which are often characterized by narcissists quickly entering into a new relationship after a breakup in order to feed their ego and fill a void. We have discussed the three stages of a narcissistic rebound relationship, including the idealization, devaluation, and discard phases, and the red flags and signs to look out for when entering a relationship with a narcissist.
Final thoughts on narcissistic rebound relationships
Narcissistic rebound relationships can be incredibly damaging to one’s mental and emotional health. The constant cycle of idealization, devaluation, and discard can lead to feelings of confusion, self-doubt, and even trauma. So always be aware of the signs and red flags, take action to end the relationship, and seek help and support if necessary.
Overall, it’s of great importance to approach relationships with awareness and caution and to prioritize our own mental and emotional health above all else. By recognizing the signs of a narcissistic rebound relationship and taking action to end it, you can begin the journey toward healing and reclaiming your sense of self-worth.