HomeRelationship Tips8 Reasons long-distance relationship don't work

8 Reasons long-distance relationship don’t work

Long distance relationship don’t work not because of the distance or because of the fact it’s a long-distance relationship so by default it was doomed to fail, no, long-distance relationship don’t work because of the different perceptions and behaviors each party involved has towards each other. long distance relationship don’t work because of several reasons be it communication, lack of satisfaction, etc they don’t fail because of the name or because of the truity of the many myths surrounding it. there are a lot of things that can make your long-distance relationship fail and it has nothing to do with the many untrue myths surrounding it.

What is long-distance relationship?

Long distance relationship is a type of relationship between individuals who are separated by distance there are many reason people agree to be in a long-distance relationship and they include, work, school, family obligations, or even personal issues.

Why long-distance relationship don’t work

Long distance relationships like every other type of relationship can be beautiful and fun if managed properly. there are several reasons why long-distance relationship don’t work and if these factors occur in your relationship frequently and nothing is done about it in no distant time your long-distance relationship will fail. there are a few reasons why long-distance relationship don’t work and they include:

  1. Lack of ample communication
  2. Lack of commitment
  3. Lack of sexual satisfaction
  4. Low relationship satisfaction
  5. Negative perception and behavior
  6. Trust issues
  7. Low face-to-face contact
  8. Financial strain

These but not limited to these points are reasons why long-distance relationship don’t work, go through these points and find ways you can improve where you are lacking in your relationship.

  1. Lack of ample communication

Communication is the backbone of every relationship. The level of communication between you and your partner determines if your relationship will fail or not. effective communication is the bedrock of a healthy relationship, especially ln a long-distance relationship.

When there is a communication breakdown between two people who are in love with each other but are geographically separated it leads to confusion and misunderstanding which if allowed to blow out of proportion might lead to resentment which is a feeling no one in a relationship should have for their partner.

maintaining good communication with your partner might be difficult but it’s necessary to communicate your feelings. no one is a mind reader if your partner does anything that you don’t understand or you are not comfortable with be sure to call their attention to it.

let them know how you feel so they can take corrections. this is what effective communication does it bridges flaws, and makes you understand your partner’s feelings, and actions, so it will be easy to adjust to their flaws because no one is perfect

Being in a long-distance relationship is even more critical for those who find it difficult to communicate freely with their partner. the only way you can communicate with your partner is through writing and speaking through phones or any other technology, you should make communication between you two worthwhile devoid of awkwardness and tiptoeing around issues between you two.

for you to have a lasting long-distance relationship that will work always device means you both can have a heart-to-heart talk without judgment through video calls, phone calls, chatting, etc…

Effective communication involves not hiding anything from your partner be plain and transparent, and ensuring you are not saying the opposite of what you feel just to maintain peace.

Lack of communication can lead to feelings of insecurity and jealousy, which can further damage trust in a relationship.

P S: No one is a mind reader find ways to make communication between you two devoid of awkward situations

 

2. Lack of commitment

Lack of commitment affects the success of a long-distance relationship. when you are not committed to your relationship it’s going to be difficult for you to put in more effort.

Long distance relationship requires effort from both partners when one is not really committed to the relationship it creates an imbalance in effort and trust which is detrimental to the success of the relationship.

when you are not committed to the relationship it becomes hard for you to call or take calls, plan visits, or even be fully there for your partner when eventually you both decide to spend time with each other

Not being fully committed to the relationship leads to feelings of distrust. it’s quite challenging to trust someone who avoids calls and doesn’t bother returning them, cancels plans to visit, and makes little or no effort to spend time together with the one they are in a relationship with this can lead to anger, jealousy, frustrations, and irritation which can be avoided if enough effort is put into making the relationship work.

Being committed in your relationship entails having shared goals and visions for the future

when one person is not committed to the relationship it will be difficult for them to make sacrifices that will ensure the success of their goals and relationship and this will definitely lead to the end of the relationship

3. Lack of sexual satisfaction

The distance between partners can make it difficult to maintain physical intimacy, which can lead to sexual dissatisfaction. The lack of physical touch and closeness can cause one or both partners to feel unfulfilled and frustrated.

This is one of the numerous reasons people cheat in a relationship. Everyone has a different level of sexual needs and desires when you both have an incompatible sex drive then a long-distance relationship will not work for you.

you need to be sexually compatible to be able to find satisfaction when you both are together and endure when you both are physically separated by distance.

when partners are together experimentation and sexual method diversity becomes a norm since they are always together to play out their fantasies.

In a long-distance relationship, sexual relations become somewhat monotonous  and greatly unsatisfying

4. Lack of relationship satisfaction

Relationship satisfaction is all about how you feel about your relationship if you don’t feel positive about the relationship then it’s bound to fail.

A lot of people have this inbuilt pessimism toward relationships making it hard for them to put in the work and the effort in making their relationship work.

A relationship is like a job when you don’t feel satisfied with your job working hard to get a promotion or even to get more customers becomes very difficult for you to do.

The way you talk to customers and your facial expressions when you are at work borders only on boredom and disinterest you won’t make a successful career from it. so it is with relationships when you are not satisfied with it your approach towards it becomes different

when you are in a long-distance relationship you are not satisfied with, then the best thing you can do for the both of you is to end things instead of stringing them along and hurting them in the process because the truth is when you are unsatisfied in a relationship that is a reminder you won’t be happy in it for long

5.  Negative perception and behavior

Have you heard of the phrase you are what you believe?  if you believe you can’t make it in life your actions will be geared toward your belief. if you believe you are a nobody the universe and your actions gear your life towards that belief which is why we should always be careful of what we think and what we read so it doesn’t consume us.

if you believe long-distance relationships don’t work then it won’t work for you. if you believe everyone in long distance relationship cheats then it might affect how you behave towards your lover in that relationship because you keep mistrusting them, keep imagining scenarios in your head that might not be taking place at that moment you might become botherline stalk…ish which is a bold red flag in every relationship.

to make your long-distance relationship work maintain a positive outlook and believe even though it didn’t work out for others it will work out for you by the way love conquers all things.

Don’t let stories and statistics stop you from making effort into making your long-distance relationship work. long distance relationship don’t work because people listen to stories that discourage them from working and putting more effort into making their relationship work.

Remember we all are not the same, what works for you might not work for your sister or might not work for your friends. maintain your individuality for it matters more in a relationship

Don’t forget long distance relationship don’t work because people have negative perceptions towards it, which has made them more careless, withdrawn, and even more irritated towards their partner who might have done nothing wrong to them. before you enter into a long-distance relationship be sure to clear all negativity from you that might make it fail.

 

6. Trust issues

Trust is built over time through consistent actions, transparency, and accountability. It is a fundamental aspect of many interpersonal and professional relationships, including friendships, business partnerships, and romantic partnerships. Trust can be easily damaged by actions such as lying, cheating, or breaking promises, and it can be challenging to regain once lost.

Trust like communication is the bedrock of all relationships. there is no relationship without trust. which is why when trust is broken in a relationship it’s always very hard to rebuild. trust is one of the major reasons long-distance relationship don’t work. have you ever called someone you love at a particular time and they didn’t pick up your call and never even bothered to return it? How did you feel?

This might breed mistrust even though they might not necessarily be with someone else at that moment which made them not to pick up. this is one of the major reasons mistrust which eventually leads to irritation builds up.

Being in a long-distance relationship requires sacrifice if you can’t sacrifice your time for the person you claim to love who lives far away from you then it goes to prove you don’t really love them as much as you claim to do.

To avoid situations where your feelings and integrity are being questioned by your partner transparency is always the key and you can achieve that by

. Returning calls when you miss them

. Minimize the amount of time you miss their calls

. Always tell them when you are busy or not so they won’t start making up scenarios in their head.

. Do things you promised to do and never go back on your words

. If you want to make changes communicate it to them effectively to avoid being misunderstood

. Never give an opportunity for mistrust to develop in their minds, because when it does it will be hard to squash. so it’s better to nip it in the bud with transparency and effective communication.

7. Low face-to-face contact

Show me a long-distance relationship where the individuals hardly meet and I will show you a long-distance relationship that won’t work. the ability to have a face to face contact with your partner is tantamount to the success of your relationship, if you hardly meet up with them then it’s going to be hard to convince yourself that you still love them. no matter how much you love someone the less you see them the less you feel for them.

The success of a long-distance relationship is directly proportional to the amount of time they see and visit according to research 40% of long-distance relationship fail because participants don’t get regular face-to-face contact with each other.

Holt and Stone (1988) found that couples that were further apart for longer periods of time reported significantly lower levels of relationship satisfaction than those who were geographically closer and had more face-to-face contact.

making plans to visit one another helps to blossom the love you both share. no matter how difficult it is for you, endeavor to plan more visits with each that’s one way to keep the flame of your relationship burning despite the distance separating you two. long distance relationship don’t work because of the minimal face-to-face contact that exists between those engaged in it.

8. Financial strain

Planning visits and executing them can be very costly especially if both parties live in different countries, financial incapability might set in and reduce the amount of time they see each which is a prerequisite to a successful relationship. which is why before you agree to be in a long-distance relationship ask yourself if you have the financial capability to plan visits and execute them.

Financial limitations can make a long-distance fail by impeding the flow of communication when you are not financially buoyant, calls, such as phone calls, video calls, and chats will be somewhat difficult this  might lead to the feeling of resentment, mistrust, and misunderstanding which eventually leads to  communication breakdown in a relationship which is the first step in the death of every relationship

Limited Activities: Financial incapability can limit the activities that couples can do together. For example, they may not be able to afford to go on vacations or attend events, which can lead to a lack of shared experiences and memories.

financial incapability can put a strain on the relationship and create challenges that can be difficult to overcome. It is important for partners to be open and honest about their financial situation and work together to find solutions to any challenges that may arise.

Conclusion

Long-distance relationship don’t work for so many reasons that we might not be aware of. Lack of communication, lack of trust, and breakdown in communication are the major reasons long-distance relationship don’t work.

If you want your relationship to work you have to put in more effort to make it succeed., financial incapability can play a significant role in the failure of a long-distance relationship and in order to overcome this partners need to open up about their financial capability, and have an honest and open communication on how to navigate this challenges. talking about this brings forth more ideas and practical ways you both can overcome this challenge without it tearing your relationship apart.

FAQ

Is the lack of physical intimacy the reason why long-distance relationships don’t work

Lack of intimacy to an extent is one of the reasons long-distance relationship don’t work, physical affection like kissing, holding hands, sex, and hugging which plays an important role in maintaining intimacy in a romantic relationship is absent or is hardly shown it might lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, loneliness, and disconnection.

when partners are separated by distance the amount of time they spend with each which leads to physical bonding between the two is greatly reduced which might eventually lead their long-distance relationship to end however there are ways lovers in long-distance relationships can make up for this, they can bridge this gap through effective communication, when you are always in communication with your better half it will make up for the loneliness they feel due to your absence.

Read Also: Love bombing the dangerous game of overwhelming affection

Are long-distance relationships more prone to infidelity due to the lack of physical proximity and monitoring?

Long-distance relationships may be more prone to infidelity due to the lack of physical proximity and monitoring. When partners are physically separated, they may have opportunities to meet new people and form new relationships.

The lack of physical intimacy can also create feelings of loneliness and frustration, which may lead one or both partners to seek comfort or validation from someone else. Additionally, the distance can make it easier to hide infidelity, as partners may not be able to monitor each other’s behavior or observe changes in their partner’s behavior. However,

it’s important to note that infidelity is not inevitable in long-distance relationships and that trust and communication are crucial in preventing and addressing any issues of infidelity. Open and honest communication about expectations, boundaries, and feelings is essential in maintaining a healthy and fulfilling long-distance relationship.

Read Also: How to turn distance relationship into marriage

Are the expectations too high in long-distance relationships, leading to disappointment and dissatisfaction?

High expectations can contribute to the failure of long-distance relationships. When partners are separated by distance, there can be a tendency to idealize the relationship and have unrealistic expectations about what the relationship should be like.

This can lead to disappointment and frustration when the reality of the relationship falls short of these expectations. Additionally, partners may have different expectations for the relationship, leading to conflicts and misunderstandings.

It’s important for partners to communicate openly about their expectations and work together to set realistic goals for the relationship. This can help to ensure that both partners feel fulfilled and satisfied in the relationship and can avoid disappointment and frustration.

 

References

Dargie, Emma & Blair, Karen & Pukall, Caroline & Goldfinger, Corrie. (2013). Go Long! Predictors of Positive Relationship Outcomes in Long Distance Dating Relationships. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. in press. 10.1080/0092623X.2013.86436

Dargie, Emma & Blair, Karen & Pukall, Caroline & Goldfinger, Corrie. (2013). Go Long! Predictors of Positive Relationship Outcomes in Long Distance Dating Relationships. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. in press. 10.1080/0092623X.2013.864367.

Sahlstein, E. M. (2004). Relating at a distance: Negotiating being together and being apart in long-distance relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 21(5), 689–710. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407504046115

Cameron JJ, Ross M. In times of uncertainty: predicting the survival of long-distance relationships. J Soc Psychol. 2007 Dec;147(6):581-606. doi: 10.3200/SOCP.147.6.581-606. PMID: 18314789.

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