What is more important than love in a relationship
A relationship may look so sweet and beautiful on the outside but filled with numerous turns and twists.
Maintaining a healthy relationship is one of the most challenging yet simplest things to do. A relationship does not thrive based only on love there are so many most important things in a relationship that makes it stronger, healthier, and a lot happier.
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who you love so much but you are very unhappy in the relationship? Or you don’t like the intricacies of your relationship but you can’t move on because you love your partner so much?
That is what this post is all about, love is not enough to keep a relationship going there are other most important things in marriage or relationship that ensures you have a happy relationship. Whether you are in a new relationship or have been with your partner for a very long time understanding these key elements will help strengthen and deepen the connection you both share.
Types of relationship
There are various types of relationships but we will only concentrate on one of them. the various types of relationships include:
- Romantic relationship: This has to do with romance and intimacy, another name for this type of relationship is a love relationship and some examples include dating, cohabitation, and marriage.
- Platonic relationship: This is the normal relationship we have with friends and acquaintances and it’s called a friendship relationship. there are no intimate feelings involved.
- Family relationship: This is the most common type of relationship because it exists between parents and their children, siblings, and extended family.
- A professional relationship: A relationship found in workplaces such as employer-employee relationships, mentor-mentee relationships, etc
- Casual relationship: Is termed casual because of how unattached the individuals in such relationship are towards each other especially when it has to do with their feelings. this kind of relationship includes hook-ups or casual dating.
- Long distance relationship: This is a kind of relationship where partners are separated by physical distance
- Open relationship: Where each partner is allowed to have multiple romantic or sexual partners.
- Monogamous relationship: is an exclusive relationship where both partners are committed, emotionally, financially, and sexually to each other and nobody else.
All these kind of relationship has their unique dynamics as well as challenges but what we are going to concentrate on is a romantic or love relationship.
We will talk about the most important things in a love relationship so it would be easier to work on your relationship to make it better and healthy.
What is more important than love in a relationship?
Flexibility in communication and problem-solving
Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship, it is the foundation of every healthy relationship, developing great communication skills is a very important skill to have in other to have a good relationship.
No good relationship lacks communication. When you are free and open with your partner you communicate your needs, and your concerns this makes it easy for your partner to understand you.
No one is a mind reader the more you keep things in your mind expecting your significant other to figure it all out the more it breeds resentment because they probably won’t figure it out. It’s left for you to be open and say what is on your mind.
Having the mind reader mentality, the “oh he knows what he did so he should figure it out” mentality kills a relationship faster than you can say communication because eventually, your partner will get tired of the attitude you portray toward him in a bid to make him “figure it out”.
Effective communication is the most important skill everyone should have in a relationship.
Empathy and understanding
Understanding and empathy are traits some people lack in a relationship. When your partner talks to you about something that is of utmost importance to them how do you take it? Flip out? Understand and seek ways to correct the impression.
No relationship can last on the bedrock of misunderstanding and lack of concern towards the feelings of one’s partner. If you cannot understand your partner there will be numerous avoidable and unnecessary misunderstandings that will keep reoccurring in your relationship, it’s pertinent to know that constant quarrels and fights that emanate from misunderstanding corrode happiness in every relationship.
Trust
Trust is the feeling of confidence and reliability in another person or thing and the willingness to rely wholely on that person or thing without an atom of doubt.
Trust is built over time through consistent, positive, and transparent experiences, trust is not something you earn immediately it is built over time which is why it’s very difficult to trust someone that betrayed you in the past. Trust can be broken by negative experiences or betrayal.
A relationship with no trust is as good as dead, when there is no trust in a relationship you find it hard to love, be vulnerable, and also to commit to your partner.
Trust is the backbone of every relationship and it should be protected at all costs because when it is broken it may be impossible to build again.
Trust is a key element to the happiness and longevity of a relationship, you trust your partner won’t hurt you, you trust they have your best interest at heart, and you trust they will always be there for you, when all these are taken away it becomes hard for that relationship to stand the test of time, trust is more important than love in a relationship, without trust love can’t stand.
Shared values and goals:
Having shared values and goals creates a sense of purpose and unity in a relationship it brings about togetherness and the opportunity to work as a team.
It gives you both the opportunity to positively criticize ideas, and goals to produce something better and worthwhile. this team spirit resonates in your ability to listen to them talk especially when they have something in mind to say, you listen and provide a shoulder to lean on when it looks as though they are in dire need of it that is the spirit of a team.
Friendship
Before any relationship will grow it has to be planted in the soil of effective communication nurtured in friendship and groomed in trust. No relationship can go far without friendship. you need to be friends first before going into a relationship.
As friends, you do things together, have fun together, work together, solve problems together, and do most things together. As a human you can do anything to make your friends happy which includes respecting their decisions, being there for them when they need you most, and being a support system to them when they need it, this is what brings you all together when you are friends with someone you are in love with it becomes very much easier to communicate and open up to them when you feel the need to.
Friendship builds an emotional connection between two people who would do anything to make each other happy. Friendship is underrated in a relationship but it is one of the most important things in a relationship even more important than love in a relationship as it’s one of the key elements that create a strong bond between two people who are in love.
Mutual respect
When you really love someone you will respect them as a person and respect them for who they are. Respect just like love is very important in a relationship. Respect is what is required from two individual who appreciates each other’s views and opinion. When you show enormous respect for your partner it lets them know how much you really love and care for them. it’s difficult to let down what you think of their views and opinion but you must accommodate them the way they are, that is what respect is all about.
disrespect corrodes the happiness in a relationship when you always clap back at your partner, talk to them the way you feel with no filter, undermine their views and opinion, and generally make them feel small by your utterances it goes a long way to show you don’t love and care about them and it also shows how little you value them.
Mutual respect is a strong element that forms the foundation of every healthy relationship. And it creates a strong bond between two people.
Emotional support and encouragement
Being emotionally careless and insensitive towards your partner will push them away from you. you should always be emotionally supportive of them, give a listening ear to them when they have something to discuss that is eating them up even when they don’t open up at first be emotionally alert to know when to find out what is eating them up,
this shows you care and love them so much to know they have not been their usual self emotional unavailability and insensitivity is one of the major causes of infidelity in a relationship because you are not always available for them to talk to and also there to encourage them they find succor in the arms of someone who is always there to listen and give emotional support.
Encouraging and supporting each other in personal and professional pursuits fosters the feeling of love and appreciation in a relationship
Practicing safe independence and autonomy
Allowing each other to have different hobbies, and space helps to maintain the easy flow of a healthy relationship. No one wants to be in a relationship where their partner is always in the space, always within an inch from them, and always included in their activities and hobbies, this can be tiring and overwhelming.
It is advisable to maintain a sense of self and individuality away from some things your partner does, have your hobby, and have friends that care about you as a person.
having a sense of self and your own hobby while still being committed to the relationship can be healthy for both of you because it is a necessity for your emotional and mental well-being. don’t lose your self-worth and identity in a relationship, your independence and autonomy are one of the many attributes you have that attracted them In the first place, independence is one of the most important things in a relationship for women and also for men.
Compromise
Being able to compromise in order to find solutions that work for both partners is important in maintaining a healthy relationship. A relationship is comprised of two people who grew up in different background, has different views and opinion, has different hobbies, has different taste and differences in some aspect of life in other to make your relationship work both partners has to come to a compromise, in a relationship, there will always be a clash of interest and opinion how you take those conflicts determines if your relationship will work or not. if you can fight fair and find solutions to the problem without always wanting to win arguments your relationship will last longer
Safety
A relationship is a place where you feel most safe around your partner, it’s a place where you can feel vulnerable without being judged or castigated, it’s your safe haven away from the hurdles of life.
When you don’t feel safe in your relationship then it is a good reason to leave.
Being emotionally, physically, and financially abused is the worst thing that can happen to anyone as it brings about depression, mental instability, physical harm, etc if you are in a relationship where you are being abused you should leave before it is too late.
emotional abuse can be very addictive which is why you should seek the help of a therapist to help you walk away from relationships that make you feel unsafe and also help you recover from an abusive relationship
Forgiveness
Having the capacity to forgive each other when you err and also learn from your mistakes helps to strengthen a relationship and create a deeper understanding of each other.
If you are not ready to forgive your partner then you shouldn’t be in a relationship because forgiveness is the core necessity of every relationship.
Since there are two individuals in a relationship with different tastes and upbringing a clash of interests may arise when this happens it’s only when you forgive and you both learn from it that you will be able to understand each other.
Bringing up an old argument that has already been forgotten shows you haven’t forgiven them despite the fact you claimed you have, your purpose should be to learn from mistakes and not to point them out every time you both disagree. it requires forgiveness to fix a relationship you ruined which is why forgiveness is one of the most important things in a relationship probably even more important than love in a relationship
one of the most important things to discuss in a relationship is giving each other chance to apologize without taking drastic decisions. No one is perfect the more you remember this the easier it will be for you to forgive your partner when they err.
Loyalty
loyalty can be dependent on what two people in a relationship agreed on, if you both agreed to be in a monogamous relationship then you should stick to it without having “candy eye” for someone by the side, monogamy includes not flirting with other people, not cheating on your partner or even having erotic thoughts about another person if you are in a monogamous relationship loyalty is a test that will determine if you love your partner as much as you claimed to do.
Loyalty as well is the most important thing in marriage because when you are not loyal to your partner that is a recipe for disaster in your marriage
Factors essential for a successful relationship
Love is not enough to make a relationship healthy, there are a lot of people who love each other but are unhappy in their relationship.
The most important thing to discuss in a relationship is forgiveness and emotional vulnerability. There are some essential things for a successful relationship and they include; compromise, respect, open communication, and willingness to work through challenges that spring up in the relationship without letting them tear you both apart.
A strong emotional connection which is brought about by friendship, support, encouragement, trust, and compassion is also important in a relationship to ensure its longevity and happiness.
Also in all of this endeavor to maintain individuality without losing yourself in the relationship.
Sources
Lavner, J. A., Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (2016). Does Couples’ Communication Predict Marital Satisfaction, or Does Marital Satisfaction Predict Communication? Journal of marriage and the family, 78(3), 680. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12301
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4852543/
