HomeRelationship Tips10 Clear signs your ex just want to sleep with you

10 Clear signs your ex just want to sleep with you

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Are you still in contact with your ex, but feel like they only want you for one thing – sex? I know how frustrating and confusing the situation can be, especially if you still have feelings for them. But before you jump back into bed with them, let’s try to recognize the signs that they may only be interested in a physical relationship.

As someone who has been in this situation before, I know firsthand how difficult it is to be in this situation  But don’t worry, you’re not alone. In this blog post, I’ll be sharing some of the key signs your ex just want to sleep with you, and what you can do to protect yourself emotionally.

Whether you’re looking for closure, hoping to rekindle the relationship, or simply trying to move on, understanding the signals your ex is sending can help you make a more informed decision.

Psychology behind sleeping with exes

Breakups are actually very tough especially if you still have feelings for them. When we’re in a relationship, we often build our lives around our partner. We become emotionally attached to them and rely on them for support, love, and companionship. When that relationship ends, it sometimes feels like a huge loss. Suddenly, we have to adjust to a new way of life without the person we thought would be there forever.

In the aftermath of a breakup, it’s not uncommon for people to feel a sense of loneliness, sadness, and even a bit of desperation, or probably a lot of it.

We might feel like we need our ex to fill the void in our lives to make us feel complete again. This is where the desire to sleep with an ex comes from – it can feel like a way to reconnect with that person and fill the emotional gap that they left behind.

But there are also physical factors at play. When we have sex, our bodies release a hormone called oxytocin. This hormone is often referred to as the “cuddle hormone” because it makes us feel connected to our partner and can create feelings of love and attachment.

When we’re in a relationship, we experience this rush of oxytocin on a regular basis. This is why when the relationship ends, we miss that feeling of closeness and connection.

Sleeping with an ex can provide a temporary fix. It can give us that rush of oxytocin that we’ve been missing and make us feel like we’re back in the relationship. It’s just like being addicted to drugs and alcohol and then going through the withdrawal stage in order to be clean. It’s not easy going through the withdrawal stage which is why most people keep going back to their ex to get their daily fix so they can fill the void and emptiness they feel inside.

But this is a dangerous game to play. If one person thinks that sleeping together means they’re getting back together, while the other person just wants a physical connection, it can create confusion and this could hurt your feelings again. It’s an endless vicious cycle that will keep going until you get the strength and courage to put your foot down and say ENOUGH!

 Sleeping with an ex can also make it really hard to move on from the relationship. If you’re still sleeping with your ex, it’s hard to truly let go and start fresh. It can also create a sense of dependency on that person – if you’re relying on them for sex and emotional connection, it will be very hard to see your life without them in it.

Signs your ex just want to sleep with you


1.  They only contact you when they want sex

The first sign that your ex might only be after one thing is if they only hit you up when they’re feeling frisky. Translation: they only want to see you when they’re feeling that itch down below. Now, while it’s natural to want to get intimate with your partner if that’s all your ex seems to want from you, it’s a huge red flag!

 Being in a healthy relationship means that your partner wants to spend time with you both in and outside of the bedroom. If all your ex wants to do is get it on, then you’re not really in a relationship at all! Plus, it’s not healthy to feel like you’re only valued for your body and not for who you are as a person.

Now, if you do find yourself in this situation, you need to set some boundaries with your ex. You need to make it clear that you’re not interested in just being their booty call, and that you want to be with someone who respects and values you as a whole person. If your ex can’t get on board with that, then it might be time to move on and find someone who does.

2.  They’re not interested in meeting your friends or family.

One of the signs your ex just want to sleep with you is if they’re not interested in meeting your friends or family. Now, I know it might not seem like a big deal, but it actually says a lot about their intentions.

When someone is serious about a relationship, they usually want to meet the important people in their partner’s life. They want to get to know the people who are close to their partner and form connections with them.

But when your ex is only interested in hooking up with you, they don’t really care about meeting your friends or family they don’t even care about who they are, am sorry to say this your ex just wants to spend time with you in private and keep things casual.

There could be a few reasons for this. Maybe they’re not interested in anything serious and just want to have some fun. Or maybe they’re not interested in forming deeper connections with you and just want to keep things surface-level.

If you’re looking for something more serious and your ex isn’t interested in meeting your loved ones, then it is time to reconsider if this is the right person for you.

3.  They are hardly available for a hang out with you nor do they return your calls when they miss them

Now, we all know everyone gets busy sometimes, and it’s not unusual for plans to fall through. But if you’re finding that your ex is consistently flaking on you or only reaching out sporadically, it may be a sign that they’re not looking for anything serious.

When someone is truly interested in you and wants to pursue a relationship, they’ll make an effort to keep in touch and make plans to see you. If your ex is only contacting you late at night or when they’re feeling lonely, it’s a clear indication that they’re more interested in physical intimacy than a true emotional connection.

Inconsistency in communication can also be a sign that your ex is keeping their options open and not fully committed to the idea of a relationship. They may be hesitant to make plans with you because they’re still exploring other options or not sure what they want.

When someone is truly interested in you, they’ll make an effort to stay in touch and spend time with you. Don’t settle for someone who’s  only interested in a physical connection

4.  They don’t want to talk about their personal life or dating habits.

I hope you know sometimes people just aren’t comfortable sharing certain details about their life with their ex. However, if your ex is completely closed off and doesn’t want to share anything about their personal life or dating habits, it could be a sign that they’re not interested in anything more than just a physical relationship.

One possible reason for this is that they don’t want to create any confusion or expectations that they’re looking to get back together with you. Or, they could be seeing other people and don’t want to ruin their chances with those individuals by admitting they’re still sleeping with their ex.

Not everyone has their own boundaries and level of comfort when it comes to sharing personal information. But if your ex is avoiding the topic altogether and not willing to have any type of discussion about it, it’s worth taking a closer look at their intentions.

5They don’t want to be seen in public with you.

Now, I know this may be a difficult concept for you to accept, but people have their own reasons for not wanting to be seen in public with someone. But in the context of an ex who only wants to sleep with you, it’s likely that they don’t want to be seen with you in public because they don’t want others to get the impression that there is more to the relationship than just physical intimacy.

It could also be that they want to keep their options open and not be tied down to one person. This is because if they are seen with you in public, it might limit their chances of finding someone else they may be interested in.

Furthermore, it’s possible that your ex may not want to be seen with you in public because they’re not ready to face the potential scrutiny and judgment from others about their relationship with you. They may also want to avoid any awkward encounters with mutual friends or acquaintances.

However, I want you to know, you deserve to be with someone who is proud to be with you and wants to show you off to the world. Someone who is truly interested in you will not be afraid to be seen with you in public or introduce you to their friends and family.

if your ex is showing this sign, then it will be helpful for you to recognize it as a red flag and not invest your time and emotions in a relationship that is based solely on physical intimacy.

6.  They’re not interested in exploring a relationship or getting back together.

 Not everyone is looking for the same things in a relationship. If your ex is only interested in a physical connection with you, they may not be interested in exploring a romantic relationship or getting back together with you. Oh how I love asking questions, annoying yet necessary questions in a relationship so I don’t get my hopes high and crushed when I don’t expect it. You need to listen to your gut and be honest with yourself about what you want and need from a relationship.

It’s also worth noting that sometimes people may say they’re not interested in getting back together because they’re afraid of getting hurt again or they’re unsure about their feelings. But if your ex consistently shows no interest in exploring a relationship or getting back together, it’s a good indication that their intentions are not aligned with yours.

So, what should you do if you find yourself in this situation? First and foremost, there is a need to have a conversation about your needs and boundaries clearly with your ex. If you’re not interested in a physical-only relationship, it’s okay to say no and prioritize your emotional well-being.

 Pay attention to your ex’s actions and words to determine if they’re genuinely interested in rekindling a relationship or just looking for a physical connection. Trust your instincts and communicate your needs clearly.

7.  They seem disinterested in your life or emotions outside of sex

 A healthy relationship involves emotional intimacy, not just physical intimacy. If your ex only seems to care about your sexual encounters and doesn’t show any interest in your day-to-day life or emotions, that’s a clear sign they’re only interested in a physical connection.

It’s possible that they’re using you as a means to satisfy their own sexual desires without any intention of actually caring for you as a person. This can be hurtful and damaging to your self-esteem and emotional well-being.

So, be wary of partners who only seem to care about sex and don’t show any interest in getting to know you on a deeper level. It’s important to have an honest conversation with your partner and establish boundaries to ensure that your emotional needs are being met in addition to your physical ones.

Imagine you’re hanging out with your ex, and all they want to talk about is sex. They’re not asking how your day went or showing any interest in your life or emotions. They’re not invested in your well-being outside of satisfying their own sexual needs. It’s as if they’re only interested in you for one reason, and one reason alone.

Imagine you’re going through a difficult time, and you reach out to your ex for support. Instead of offering a listening ear and words of comfort, they change the subject and steer the conversation toward sexual topics. This kind of behavior is a clear indication that they’re not invested in you emotionally and only see you as a means to satisfy their physical desires. They are not even interested in knowing what’s going on with you. I know you might be too blinded by love to notice this but when his conversations with you are always centered around sex, you need to reevaluate that relationship.

A healthy relationship involves emotional and physical connection. If your ex is only interested in the physical aspect and shows little to no interest in your emotional well-being, then it’s a sign that they’re not interested in a genuine relationship with you.

8.  They only text or call you late at night.

 I’m not saying that people can’t have late-night conversations or send a flirty text past bedtime. But if this is the only time your ex seems to remember your existence, it’s time to raise an eyebrow. I mean have you ever stopped to ask why they only text you at night?

Think about it. If they’re truly interested in reconnecting with you and building a new relationship, why are they only reaching out when the moon is high and the world is asleep? It’s like they’re treating you as an afterthought or a late-night snack, instead of a real partner with emotions and needs.

And let’s not forget about the content of those late-night messages. Are they actually interested in how your day went, or are they just using suggestive language to get what they want? Are they asking about your hopes and dreams, or just inviting you over for a “movie night”?

Now, don’t get me wrong, sometimes people have busy schedules and can only text or call late at night. But if this is a consistent pattern with your ex, it’s time to recognize the signs and take a step back. Remember you deserve to be valued and respected as a whole person, not just as someone to hook up with when it’s convenient for them. Always remember that!

9.  They don’t respect your boundaries.

Respecting boundaries is crucial in any healthy relationship, whether it’s romantic or not. It means that your partner is willing to listen to your needs and wants, and will not try to pressure you into doing something you’re not comfortable with. If your ex is not respecting your boundaries, it’s a red flag that they may only be interested in using you for their own pleasure.

Let me give you an example, suppose you’ve made it clear to your ex that you’re not interested in a physical relationship with them, but they still try to make advances towards you, this is a clear sign that they don’t respect your boundaries. It’s essential to understand that respect is a vital component of any relationship, and if your ex is not willing to respect your boundaries, then they’re not worth your time.

It’s not just about physical boundaries; it’s also about emotional and mental boundaries. For instance, if your ex constantly tries to contact you even after you’ve made it clear that you need space or time, then they’re not respecting your emotional boundaries.

Also if they continue to bring up past issues or mistakes you made in the relationship. They’re not respecting your mental boundaries by not allowing you to move on from the past and heal.

 Boundaries are necessary for a healthy relationship, and if your ex can’t respect them, then they’re not ready for a relationship with you. So, don’t let anyone make you feel like your boundaries don’t matter, and don’t hesitate to cut off contact if necessary.

10. They are in a committed relationship with someone else

If your ex is in a new relationship then back off, this might sound obvious, but your ex being in a committed relationship means that they are not available for a romantic relationship with you. If they are trying to engage in sexual activity with you despite being committed to someone else, that is a major red flag.

It’s important to respect other people’s relationships and boundaries, and it’s also important to respect your own. If your ex is trying to engage with you sexually while in a committed relationship, that can cause a lot of emotional turmoil for everyone involved.

So, what can you do if you find yourself in this situation? The best thing to do is to politely but firmly decline their advances and communicate that you do not want to engage in any sexual activity with someone who is committed to someone else.

Prioritize your own well-being and emotional health, and engaging in a sexual relationship with someone who is not fully available to you can be emotionally damaging. Always make sure to prioritize your own boundaries and communicate them clearly to your ex.

Think about it this way – if your ex is in a committed relationship, they have already made a commitment to someone else. It’s not fair to their partner for them to be seeking out physical or emotional intimacy with someone else, especially an ex. And it’s not fair to you to be kept on the side as a physical or emotional outlet, without the possibility of a real relationship.

So, if you suspect that your ex is in a committed relationship, then you need to take a step back and evaluate the situation. Are you willing to be a part of something that could potentially hurt others, including yourself? It’s important to have boundaries and stick to them, even if it means letting go of a past relationship no matter how painful it is.

Dangers of sleeping with an ex

Hey,  I understand that sleeping with your ex might seem like a tempting option at times. But it’s crucial to understand that it can lead to a rekindling of old feelings that may not have been resolved in the first place.

Let’s say you had a breakup with your ex because of some issues that were never resolved. You might think that sleeping with them could help you overcome those issues and bring closure. However, it’s not always the case. In fact, it can make things worse.

By sleeping with your ex, you might start to feel emotionally attached to them again, making it difficult for you to move on. Old feelings that you thought you had buried might come back to the surface, and this can cause confusion and chaos in your mind and heart, and trust me you don’t want that.

So, my dear, you need to understand that sleeping with your ex might give you temporary satisfaction, but it can lead to long-term emotional turmoil. It’s essential to address any unresolved issues with your ex in a healthy and constructive way, instead of using physical intimacy as a means to avoid them.

Remember, it’s always better to move on and start anew, rather than getting stuck in a cycle of unresolved emotions and confusion.

2.  sleeping with your ex can create a false sense of hope for the future. I know you might miss your ex, and having sex with them can make you feel close again. But you need to remember why you two broke up in the first place. If you’re not careful, it can create a false sense of intimacy that may lead you to believe that the relationship can work again, but that might not always be the case.

Sometimes, things just don’t work out, no matter how much you want them to. So, you need to be honest with yourself about your feelings and what you want out of a relationship. If you’re just looking for a casual hookup, that’s one thing. But if you’re hoping to get back together, sleeping with your ex can be dangerous. It can make you think that there’s a chance of a future together when in reality, that might not be the case.

So, before you decide to sleep with your ex, take a moment to think about what you really want. Are you looking for closure or hoping to get back together? Be honest with yourself and your ex, and make sure you’re both on the same page.  remember that sometimes, it’s better to let go and move on.

3. Sleeping with your ex can hold you back from moving on and finding true love. It’s like holding onto a broken piece of jewelry instead of getting a new one that is whole and shining.

When you sleep with your ex, you may feel like you’re back in the good old days when things were happy and comfortable. But this false sense of intimacy can prevent you from healing and growing as a person. You may find yourself stuck in the past, unable to let go of what’s already gone.

Remember that your ex is your ex for a reason. There were problems and issues that led to the breakup in the first place. Having sex with them may create a temporary sense of closeness, but it won’t magically fix what was broken before.

Instead of clinging to the past, try to look forward to the future. You deserve someone who loves and respects you, someone who wants to build a healthy and fulfilling relationship with you. By sleeping with your ex, you may be unknowingly closing yourself off to new opportunities for love and growth.

So, be kind to yourself and remember that your worth is not defined by your past relationships. Keep your head up high, focus on your personal growth, and trust that love will come to you when the time is right.

4.  Sleeping with your ex can lead to a lot of drama and complications that you may not be prepared to handle. For one, it can create unnecessary emotional pain and heartache. When you sleep with someone, it’s natural to develop feelings of intimacy and closeness, and that can reignite old emotions that you thought were long gone.

sleeping with your ex can cause unnecessary drama and complications, particularly if either of you has moved on and started seeing other people. It can create feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and other negative emotions that can be challenging to overcome.

Why does your ex want to sleep with you

1.  Physical attraction:

One of the most common reasons your ex wants to sleep with you is physical attraction. Your ex still finds you desirable and may be interested in engaging in sexual activities with you. However, remember physical attraction is not the only factor at play here.

There may be other reasons as well, such as emotional attachment or a desire for intimacy. Your ex may still have feelings for you and maybe using sex as a way to feel close to you again. They may also be seeking comfort or validation from you, especially if they are going through a tough time.

 while physical attraction and emotional attachment are valid reasons for wanting to sleep with an ex, it’s not always a healthy choice. It’s crucial to consider your own feelings and boundaries before engaging in any sexual activities with an ex.

2.   Familiarity.

Being intimate with someone you already know can be a comfortable and familiar experience. It’s like returning to something that you know well and that feels safe. In some cases, people might be hesitant to venture into new relationships and experiences because they feel uncertain or anxious. By sleeping with an ex, they can avoid those uncomfortable feelings and stick with something that they already know. However,  remember that just because something is familiar, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s healthy or right for you.

3.  Emotional attachment

This is another reason why your ex may want to sleep with you. If you’ve shared a deep emotional connection in the past, they may still feel that connection and want to experience it again, even if it’s just for a brief moment.

 sex is a very intimate and emotional act, and it can be difficult to separate those feelings from the physical act itself. So, your ex may be looking for that emotional connection again through sex. It’s a trap don’t fall in. You have to be cautious and considerate of your own emotions and boundaries in this situation.

4. Reconciliation

Reconciliation means that your ex may want to sleep with you in the hopes of rekindling the romantic relationship that you had before. They may have realized that they miss you and want to give the relationship another chance. However, having sex does not necessarily guarantee that the relationship will work out. You both need to have a conversation and address the underlying issues that led to the breakup in the first place before attempting to reconcile.

5.  Validation

Validation is another reason why your ex may want to sleep with you. Sometimes people seek validation from their past partners, hoping that intimacy will make them feel wanted and desired. This can be especially true if they have experienced rejection or emotional pain from other relationships or life circumstances.

Truth is seeking validation from an ex can be dangerous and potentially harmful if it becomes a pattern or a way to avoid facing and resolving deeper emotional issues. It’s important to be aware of this and to prioritize your own emotional well-being and boundaries.

6.  Convenience

Convenience is another reason why your ex may want to sleep with you. Sometimes, it can be challenging to find a new sexual partner, and your ex may see you as a convenient option. This is an insulating reason to want to sleep with an ex.  convenience should never be the sole reason to engage in sexual activity, especially with an ex. Always prioritize your own emotional well-being and consider if this is something you truly want to do. Don’t let someone else’s convenience cloud your judgment and make you feel like you have to do something you’re not comfortable with.

Signs that your ex might want to get back together

Consistent communication

Consistent communication from an ex can be a strong indication that they are interested in getting back together. This could mean that they are reaching out to you frequently, initiating conversations regularly, or even making an effort to stay updated on  your life. By maintaining a consistent line of communication, your ex is essentially keeping the door open for the possibility of reconciliation.

For example, if your ex is texting you every day, asking how you’re doing, and wanting to catch up, it could mean that they miss the connection they had with you and want to rekindle that relationship. Or, if they’re calling you more often than usual, it could be a sign that they want to hear your voice and feel close to you again.

Although consistent communication alone does not necessarily mean that your ex wants to get back together for real. They could just be looking for a casual fling or trying to keep you as an option while they explore other potential partners. But, if they are consistently reaching out to you with thoughtful messages and showing a genuine interest in your life, it could be a good sign that they are looking to rekindle the romance.

So if your ex is keeping the lines of communication open and making an effort to stay in touch, it could be worth exploring the possibility of getting back together if that is what you also desire. However, you need to approach the situation with caution and ensure that both parties are on the same page about their intentions and expectations.

 Expressing regret

Expressing regret is an important sign that your ex may want to get back together with you. If your ex has been reaching out to you and apologizing for past mistakes, it shows that they have been reflecting on the relationship and may be willing to work on things.

For example, your ex might say something like “I’m sorry for the way I treated you in the past. I wish I had done things differently, and I want to make it up to you.” This shows that they are taking responsibility for their actions and are actively seeking to improve the relationship.

Although, keep in mind that apologizing alone does not necessarily mean that your ex wants to get back together. They may genuinely just be apologizing for their past behavior without any intention of reconciling. But, if they are expressing regret and actively seeking to make things right, it is a positive sign that they may want to give the relationship another chance.

 Increased effort

When an ex is making an increased effort to spend time with you, it could mean that they are interested in getting back together. For instance, they may initiate plans to hang out, ask about your schedule to find a time that works for both of you, or offer to do activities that they know you enjoy.

your ex may also be putting in extra effort to show you that they are serious about the relationship. This could manifest in them making more thoughtful gestures or doing things that they know are important to you. For example, they may surprise you with your favorite meal or take you to see a movie that you’ve been wanting to watch.

An increase in effort can be a positive sign that your ex is interested in rekindling the relationship, but it’s important to keep in mind that it should not be the sole determining factor. You should assess the situation as a whole and consider if this increased effort is sustainable in the long term, and if it’s enough to overcome any past issues that led to the breakup.

  Asking about your life

When someone is interested in getting back together with their ex, they often try to initiate conversations and ask questions about their ex’s life. This could be a sign that they are interested in reconnecting with their ex and building a stronger emotional connection.

For example, if your ex asks you how your job is going, how your family is doing, or what you’ve been up to lately, it shows that they are interested in your life and what you are doing. They might also ask about your hobbies, your interests, or your friends, as they want to know more about your current life and what makes you happy.

Asking about your life shows that they care about you and are trying to establish a connection with you. They might even use this information to plan future activities together or to surprise you with something you love.

However, it’s important to understand that just because your ex is asking about your life doesn’t necessarily mean they want to get back together. They might just be curious or trying to be friendly.  Just pay attention to other signs as well to determine their true intentions.

They introduce you to their friends and family

When an ex introduces you to their friends and family, it means they are opening up their social circle to you and showing that they value your presence in their life. This could be a sign that they want to start rebuilding the relationship and want their loved ones to see that they are making an effort to make things right.

For example, if your ex invites you to a family gathering or introduces you to their close friends, it could be a sign that they are trying to involve you in their personal life and make you feel like a part of it. They might also want their friends and family to see that they are trying to reconcile with you and want their support in making the relationship work.

On the other hand, if your ex is hesitant to introduce you to their loved ones or keeps their relationship with you private, it could mean that they are not ready to commit or are unsure about their feelings.


In conclusion,  pay attention to the signs that your ex may be giving off if you’re unsure whether they want to sleep with you or if they want to reconcile. Keep in mind that just because they may want to sleep with you doesn’t necessarily mean they want to get back together.

Be cautious and make sure to communicate with your ex to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings. Remember that you always have the right to set boundaries and prioritize your own well-being. By being aware of the signs and taking care of yourself, you can navigate this potentially tricky situation with confidence and clarity.

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